Why Every Woman Needs to Listen to 'Ctrl'.
Without control, there is nothing. But, with nothing we find everything. About the world and about ourselves.
~ Amani Rakeia.
With questions like "Do you even know I'm alive?" featured on the track titled 'Anything' we can process many different feelings. In an interview SZA recently had with the Breakfast Club before the album was officially released, she states, "It's a question and conversation I am having with myself." And that is exactly what this album is - a rhythmic personal diary.
She mentions in the midst of searching for attention of someone else, can I even recognize who I am anymore? Lyrics like "Do you even know I'm alive", speaks to the women who have been nothing but selfless towards their significant other and still receive neglecting & being taken for granted. It speaks to the women who are on their journey of finding both themselves & their voice that's been overshadowed through the darkness that life can sometimes bring us.
Boy o' boy ... Did the fellas hate this one!
In fact, let me admit that this is my absolute favorite song on the album. It screams sexual liberation and individual autonomy.
I've seen so many men claim this song in particular to be a "Hoe Anthem". But wait .. I'm "Pro-hoe" or whatever that may look like to you. I like to think that "Pro-hoe" is a term that is often mistakenly used for being sexually liberated. From all the tweets I've seen it's very evident that some men cannot stand the fact that some women are getting a grip on recognizing their worth & also learning to live their life that does not call for the attention or approval of men. Women live a life that is limitless and boundless - Breaking the glass ceiling day in & day out.
Okay Sis ...
"My man is my man, is your man .. Heard that's her man too."
Sorry hun, it's now y[OUR] man. But let's recognize the difference between me & you.
Me, well I'm just here on the terms to fulfill my sexual desires
Well .. While you're here to fulfill emotional and other types of attachments.
Hear me out.
Women are good for attacking the other woman, but fail to realize that her man gave the open invitation. It's almost like we take away all the blame & accountability from the man and go after the other woman. Truthfully, if a woman is okay with being the "Side-chick", then she shall play her part well and do just that. If she has no issues with being around for just the weekends, don't let anyone stop you. It is a very much real thing for women to only want sexual relations with no emotional attachment, (Which is something that men have been notorious for, for many years.)
And rightfully so, as the main woman in your man's life, if you do not approve of your man being sexually involved with other women, who's telling you to stay?
On the flip side, many of these situations do go on behind one's back & they're kept in the dark. And this is where we can turn to tracks such as 'Go Gina'.
"Go get that get right mamma".
This song is my second favorite from the album and there are so many things we can learn from it.
I believe this song was made for the women who have stayed around far too long for men who don't recognize them enough to satisfy their needs, whether that be sexually or emotionally.
This track rings Freedom with the lyrics, "I belong to nobody, hope it don't bother you, you can mind your business." Ladies, we are no longer dealing with the men who choose to have their cake and eat it too and think that you are not enough to please them. What about us? This song also speaks to the women who have been held down without much appreciation & attention.
So guess what we gone do Sis ..
Go out more! Go get dressed up and link up with your girls. Shoot, and while you're at it go get that 'get right'. No more being tied down by men that choose to not respect our wishes of sleeping with other women. And no more being tied down by men that can't value us enough to know when things aren't right or you needing something.
& SZA said it just like dat.
"Got no panties on, I need your support."
This song speaks the truth of what it means to be completely vulnerable.
This track 'Garden (Say it Like Dat)' exposes more inner thoughts & conversations with oneself. SZA begins to unravel her truth as she questions her body image, noticing how she's calling for the love of another and she expresses how difficult she can be. SZA also is battling with both neglect and rejection.
"Need you for the old me."
"Need you for my sanity."
But overall, what I like most about this track is that it can be looked at as a call to self. A call to being there for yourself, when nobody else has you, and a call to bringing yourself to life. Sometimes we don't tell ourselves how much we actually love us, or even how bad we need ourselves to be present.
This track just takes me on a journey looking for self.
"Open your heart up."
"Cause I love you, just how you are."
Baby girl. You don't need to change who you are - But instead, open up your mind and revel in you flaws and your beauty. Be unapologetic. Allow yourself to be emotional & feel. Feel a lot. And most importantly, be vulnerable.
& Finally, to end this album with the sweetest blessing ever ..
To our 20 something's.
Being twenty years old exactly, this track gave me hope. It gave me comfort. This track made me feel that in this uphill battle of trying to find myself, grow in womanhood, and adult all at the same time - Everything is going to be just okay.
"Praying the 20 something's don't kill me."
I have to say that I think going through your twenties has to be the toughest thing ever.
Between finding yourself & claiming your freedom, but sill living at home with your parents. To writing your own rules to life, but also listening to the demands of society telling you to go to school, getting a 'good paying' job, building credit, etc. But what about dealing with heartbreaks, loosing and building friendships, looking for stability and dealing with anxiety and depression from social factors? At what point do we find our inner voice & take control of what it is we want and need out of life.
"I'm hoping my 20 something's won't end..."
And so "God bless em, God bless em, God bless em."
Embrace your twenties. Make mistakes. Be that side-chick. Fall & fall hard. And take as long as you need in both your journeys of womanhood & finding self. Let go & start over as many times as you need.
So what can we learn from 'Ctrl'?
"Without control, we lose our identity. We lose balance in life. And we lose ourselves."
But we also learn, that it's ok to be lost and allow life to take us on a ride. A ride, where we don't know the destination. Or a ride where we meet our most vulnerable selves.
Here, we begin to find out exactly who we are.💛
Thank you Solana.
See you Friday, August 18th 2017.